Ode to an Empty Desk
Who knew that a desk could mean so much? It’s just a space. A flat surface, a chair, a computer. This particular desk I didn’t even use that much, often opting for the communal table and a chair that better fit my small frame.
The last two years, this desk has represented a large part of who I am. I poured my entire soul into student government. Often caught up with other responsibilities like - school - I would catch myself wishing I could be doing this for my full-time job. I wanted to devote every hour to building a better community, but was restrained by hours in the day and mental fatigue.
Usually, I beat myself up about this job. I was far from perfect and after two years I think I am finally getting a hang of it but graduation is forcing me to move on to new horizons. If only I had put in more time, talked to more people, tried more things. While I will never cease to feel disappointed with the work I’ve done (can you believe I didn’t realize I was a perfectionist until a year ago?), locking up the office for the last time has me reminiscing on the good things that have happened in my time serving the student body. I was able to meet and work with incredible teams of passionate individuals, advocate for greater gender equity, coordinate a Get Out The Vote Effort (I hope CJ Cregg is proud of me), and get free STI testing for students.
Despite all the cool sentences I can write about my experiences for cover letters, it has been so much more than a resume builder. I’ve learned more about myself and the world in the past two years than I have in my lifetime. My little desk had me laughing, crying, and staying up late packing bags full of condoms and lubricants. I learned the value of a team, and a good one at that. I fell in love with leadership, supported by an army of people leading by example. That little desk covered in to-do lists, old event posters, and coffee mugs contains a depth of knowledge I could never contain in a single essay.
Serving the student body changed my life. It challenged me to be a better person, student, and leader. It made me question my views and learn how to navigate working with people I didn’t get along with. It taught me that dreams don’t suddenly become reality, and change doesn’t happen overnight. My father always said I was a dreamer, but I think I’ve become quite the pragmatist.
As I was often the only student in the room, I learned how to use my voice. I learned to be grateful to be in a room full of women and allies who insisted my voice was needed at the table: because many women do not have the same experience. This is why having people at the table, and listening to them, is vital.
I was moved by the exceptional pursuits of my peers. Students would come in, sit at my desk, and ask how they could be involved. They would tell me their stories and backgrounds and what they were up to at Westminster. Arguably the most meaningful thing I did was simply award money to more creative, innovative, and exceptional students.
Seeing my empty desk feels a bit like seeing myself naked. Hair a mess, about to get in the shower, a mere ghost of a person. It feels a bit like my personality is attached to that desk and as if I don’t know who I am without it. It’s silly, I know. Many of my friends told me student government was silly - I’ve just realized that I do not particularly care.
I can never give enough thanks or recognition for the people who encouraged me, pushed me, and gave me a shoulder to cry on. I ran for office on the advice of two incredible women: Elaine Sheehan and Sabi Lowder. I got to work with an excellent example and another powerful woman, Jazmin May. I was guided by brilliant advisors: Karnell McConnell-Black, Dan Cairo, and Oliver Anderson. I witnessed an example of powerful leadership in President Beth Dobkin, and I had powerful leadership at my side with Kenzie Campbell.
So it appears that my desk is much more than a flat surface, a chair, and a computer. It’s my blood, sweat, and tears. My lessons learned and my successed gained. It’s the people that sat around it with me and the spirit of the student body. So thank you, desk, for everything. Here is to the next adventure.
This is the desk where I served as ASW Vice President (‘18-19) and President (‘19-20).